What I've Learned So Far From College Shopping

1) Shopping with my mother is like shopping with a 5 year old. I’ll be walking around the store, looking for things I’ll need, and then I see something. Then I’ll turn around and ask, “Hey Mom, what do you think of…” and damn! She’s dissappeared! Where did my middle-aged, may-as-well-be-senile mother go? I start retracing my steps and there she is, at the other end of the store, looking at shiny things (i.e. silverware, plates, makeup mirrors, etc). So, after a while I could only walk five steps at a time so that I could make sure my mom was keeping up and not looking at something colorful.

2) Bed, Bath & Beyond is SCARY. Oh, wait, I’m sorry, that’s an understatement. It’s REALLY FREAKIN’ SCARY. The aisles are barely wide enough for your shopping cart, so you have to leave it behind while you’re looking for cheep towels, hoping that when you come back that someone hasn’t taken all the shit you spent an hour looking for. Then, there’s so much stuff in that place that they need skyscrapers for shelves (and, for a short person like myself, it’s easy to be intimidated when you’re surrounded by shelves five times your size…). Oh, and did I fail to mention those people who don’t care that the carts are too big for the aisles? Yeah, those people are really scary. If you end up walking through the same aisle they’re in, then get ready to either get the fuck out of the way or else you will be pushed to the side (I’m sorry, not pushed, SHOVED to the side). I never want to have to go in there again… :’(