COLLEGE ATE MY LIFE!

No it didn't. I just forgot I had a blog amongst all the rehearsals, work, and drama I was living in. But now that I've figured out that my college is not nearly as artistic as it advertised its self to be, I'm going back to my old venues. I need to put something artsy into my life as I try to juggle work and transfer applications. Anyway, now to be sarcastic and cynical and joke about life.

College Party Scene
Is it just me or do college parties start to look the same after a while? Maybe I'm a freak, but I honestly don't understand how people can spend EVERY weekend drinking shitty vodka and playing beer pong and still find it fun. Sure, it's fun for maybe two or three weekends. But I'd like to be able to graduate from college knowing I remember some weekends. Not that I ever get that drunk considering how I end up having to take care of my shitfaced friends (it's a little hard making sure your friend doesn't end up in a hospital when you can't remember five seconds ago).
And yet, there's something about this weekly routine that just sucks people in. You know those people who every Sunday, when they're hung over and in pain, announce to the world "I'm not going to get that drunk for the rest of the semester! Ever! It's bad and I should take a break from it." Then that Friday it's 12 AM, you walk into some friend's dorm, and there they are slouched in a chair, with a red solo cup in one hand and a condom blown into a balloon in the other, screaming "RAH RAH AH AH AH, ROMA RO MA MA, GA GA OOH LA LAAAH" over and over again because they're too drunk to remember the rest of the words. Seriously people, only say that you're going to stop partying if you actually mean it. Otherwise you start sounding like an alcoholic.

In Other News
Within the three and a half months I was in college last semester my mom managed to buy five cats to replace my presence. This has multiple ramifications:
1) I have now learned that my net worth in the world is five cats. I wonder what that equals in dogs...
2) Considering that my family had only ever owned dogs before, the thought that there are cats running around my house is screwing with my mind.
3) I'm allergic to cats. So every time I'm on the bus home I need to prepare myself for the scratchy eyes and the sniffles ahead.
4) My mother is slowly turning into one of those crazy cat ladies you only ever hear about on TV.

What I've Learned So Far From College Shopping

1) Shopping with my mother is like shopping with a 5 year old. I’ll be walking around the store, looking for things I’ll need, and then I see something. Then I’ll turn around and ask, “Hey Mom, what do you think of…” and damn! She’s dissappeared! Where did my middle-aged, may-as-well-be-senile mother go? I start retracing my steps and there she is, at the other end of the store, looking at shiny things (i.e. silverware, plates, makeup mirrors, etc). So, after a while I could only walk five steps at a time so that I could make sure my mom was keeping up and not looking at something colorful.

2) Bed, Bath & Beyond is SCARY. Oh, wait, I’m sorry, that’s an understatement. It’s REALLY FREAKIN’ SCARY. The aisles are barely wide enough for your shopping cart, so you have to leave it behind while you’re looking for cheep towels, hoping that when you come back that someone hasn’t taken all the shit you spent an hour looking for. Then, there’s so much stuff in that place that they need skyscrapers for shelves (and, for a short person like myself, it’s easy to be intimidated when you’re surrounded by shelves five times your size…). Oh, and did I fail to mention those people who don’t care that the carts are too big for the aisles? Yeah, those people are really scary. If you end up walking through the same aisle they’re in, then get ready to either get the fuck out of the way or else you will be pushed to the side (I’m sorry, not pushed, SHOVED to the side). I never want to have to go in there again… :’(

How College Admissions Actually Works

I’ve come to the conclusion that admissions officers pick students via the enie-minie-miney-moe game.

How did I come to this conclusion? Well, this has basically been my college admissions experience this year. Some colleges I put a lot of effort into. Either I sent emails to teachers/admissions officers or I made sure my theater audition was freakin’ awesome. I even did this for one of my “safeties”, because they have a really kick-ass theater program. Other colleges I put very little, if any, effort into. Either I never made any correspondance what so ever, or I didn’t have to audition.

Well, here’s what happened. The schools I put the most effort into flat out rejected me. The schools I put a decent or little amount of effort into put me on their wait list (including that dumb safety). The schools I put absolutely no effort into not only accepted me but dumped a crapload of money into my lap.

Ok, so maybe admissions officers don’t play enie-meenie-miny-moe, but whatever they do lacks order and common sense. Seriously people, what gives? And if you or a friend are an admissions officer, I don’t mean to insult you or anything. But, how in the world does this make any sense?